08.07.11

WHY???

Why do females (over) indulge in projecting onto guys? We meet them on Day 1, and if we fancy them, with (a very short) time, we've dreamt up liking more, being liked back, minor relationship tiffs and the make-ups, all leading up to where our minds meet the horizon. Meanwhile, the guy is still on square one, yet to even start his engines (unless, of course, he's fancied you for quite a bit. Or he has aspirations being intimate with your intimates).

Why do the ones who like us seem blah, or sha have K-leg, while we persist in liking the ones who mostly do us more harm than good?

Why can't there be less love-triangles and more love- .... straightlines??? If we indulged less in rom-coms, and followed up on 5-years-down-the-line of happy-endings, would we be less inclined to be bedazzled by what we think we want, and focus more on what lies beneath?

Why do we dream of being a bride so much, but never really focus on married life beyond the wedding?

Why don't we ever think first to ask the Lord to find and recognize the ones we can be happy and make a home with from the very beginning, rather than wait till we're moving into our "best-by dates" to invite Him in, and then STILL settle for any random person that happens along when our desperation enters full-bloom?

An Older Point of View

I like to think of myself as having a traditional view on boy-girl relations. This includes:

a) boy courting girl (not the other way around. No matter how emancipated and independent we are, the simple truth is any human will value more something they've worked hard to earn, and not what's been dropped into their laps).

b) both parties having respect for boundaries. That means he not inviting her over for dinner, then movies, then trying to get her to stay the night, after she has said no at least thrice. It also shows he's listening to what she's saying, and respects her decisions. For her part, that would include not leading him on (especially if she knows nothing will come of the liaison) in any fashion.

Traditional would include not trying to kiss the girl on the second date, and not even thinking she would allow you (even she she does), putting your best foot forward and keeping it there for as long as you can (and not swopping pants infront of me while telling me you like to be "at ease". One can only imagine just how much at ease you are).

Okay, okay, I'm hardly the epitome of wonderful myself, but really, I reckon I know what I'm looking towards, and I can recognise that some people just don't cut.

This goes against my father's advice: "40% is pass mark, so lower your standards"

Would you believe it???

1.1.11

I've consistently failed in attempting to understand how a girl can have a guy unsuccessfully pursue her affections for periods on end, have him fail, and yet turn around (after not giving a jot about him, for same said periods on end) and realise some hithero unearthed, beyond-platonic affectations for him, and all this just as he has moved on to someone else. BAM! Mind-clarifying epiphany!!

(Or, sometimes, the gentle washing away of overburdening foolishness).

How trite. So cliché.

How did I get here?

I'd like to "set myself apart" and plead that I didn't need the appearance of a girlfriend to galvanise my decision, but it all boils down to ignored opportunities. And what amazes me still is that I still am unsure of what my stance it precisely; I'm not sad I missed out, just shocked that Ms. New Girl happened along just as I had moved myself to take action. So yes, I feel a right git, but I don't feel its right to play myself against another female's happiness just so I can have a stab at uncertainty.

What I think the case is (and feel free to share your thoughts on this) is that I've realised I've lost another emotional source I (to some extent) feed off (in the absence of a beau), and so I'm tending towards graspiness. Admittedly, it is counter-productive to pray he finds happiness with someone who will evenly reciprocate, but hope that he just might still like me, and choose me. And I do truly want him to be happy.

So Lord, please help me get over myself, and teach me to appreciate worth when it is before me, not after it is gone.

And please let him have an appreciation of my humour. :))