I've consistently failed in attempting to understand how a girl can have a guy unsuccessfully pursue her affections for periods on end, have him fail, and yet turn around (after not giving a jot about him, for same said periods on end) and realise some hithero unearthed, beyond-platonic affectations for him, and all this just as he has moved on to someone else. BAM! Mind-clarifying epiphany!!
(Or, sometimes, the gentle washing away of overburdening foolishness).
How trite. So cliché.
How did I get here?
I'd like to "set myself apart" and plead that I didn't need the appearance of a girlfriend to galvanise my decision, but it all boils down to ignored opportunities. And what amazes me still is that I still am unsure of what my stance it precisely; I'm not sad I missed out, just shocked that Ms. New Girl happened along just as I had moved myself to take action. So yes, I feel a right git, but I don't feel its right to play myself against another female's happiness just so I can have a stab at uncertainty.
What I think the case is (and feel free to share your thoughts on this) is that I've realised I've lost another emotional source I (to some extent) feed off (in the absence of a beau), and so I'm tending towards graspiness. Admittedly, it is counter-productive to pray he finds happiness with someone who will evenly reciprocate, but hope that he just might still like me, and choose me. And I do truly want him to be happy.
So Lord, please help me get over myself, and teach me to appreciate worth when it is before me, not after it is gone.
And please let him have an appreciation of my humour. :))
May we all come to this wisdom :-)
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